Chapter 147: Unboxing V: Deal or No Deal?
Christmas may be over, but PROGRESS Wrestling had a collection of presents to be unwrapped in the shape of 7 incredible matches that created surprise and intrigue. There had been much speculation on the internet and with the crowd in attendance with what matches they would see. Well - the wait is over and PROGRESS can finally reveal what happened on the night.
PROGRESS WRESTLING Chapter 147 Unboxing V: Deal Or No Deal? The Electric Ballroom, Camden, London. 30th December 2022.
Main Event PROGRESS TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP Sunshine Machine (c) Def. FSU - NEW RECORD OF TITLE DEFENCES PROGRESS MEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP Spike Trivet (c) Def. Big Damo PROGRESS WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP Lana Austin (c) Def. Rhio, Millie McKenzie & Skye Smitson Tate Mayfairs Def. Simon Miller Lizzy Evo Def. Alexxis Falcon & Nina Samuels Charles Crowley Def. Maggot CPF Def. Luke Jacobs, Dan Moloney, Man Like Del Boy & Mad Kurt
Unboxing V: Deal Or No Deal? saw the current PROGRESS Tag Team Champions Sunshine Machine (Chuck Mambo and TK Cooper) break the all-time record for PROGRESS tag title defences. They did it in style with the record breaking 9th defence against the original PROGRESS tag champions, FSU (Eddie Dennis and Mark Andrews) who arrived with the PROGRESS Tag Team Shield. After a lengthy back and forth match between the two teams, with both Sunshine Machine and FSU scoring near falls and kicking out of each other's finishers, Sunshine Machine got the all important win and broke the long standing record of title defences. Sunshine Machine will now face Lykos Gym at Chapter 148: Start Spreading The News... in a long awaited grudge match, following Chuck Mambo's loss to Kid Lykos in the hair vs. mask match at Chapter 146: They Think It's All Over...
It was Champion Vs Champion as The Sovereign Lord Spike Trivet ended the year retaining his title, following his shock at the arrival of the current Atlas Champion Big Damo as his challenger. Damo has been waiting to get his hands on the Vulture of PROGRESS ever since Spike delivered several crushing chair shots to take the PROGRESS Men's Title off Damo earlier in the year. Big Damo came close on several occasions to nearly beating Trivet, but once again it was Bullit who was the difference maker as his interference led directly to Spike getting the 1... 2... 3. Post match Gene Munny handed Spike his Gene Munny Championship to raise above his head on winning. A fact that when the Sovereign Lord realised he found none too funny. Gene took out Spike and Bullit before escaping to the back. Bullit then chased him into the backstage area, where he recovered the PROGRESS title. No doubts Trivet will have more to say about this very soon.
PROGRESS Women's Champion, the "Queen of Mean" Lana Austin was shocked to find out that not only was the match a fatal four-way, but the fourth competitor added by Gene Munny (who had replaced Simon Miller on announcing duties for the second half, more on that later) was none other than Lana Austin Experience member 'The Villainess' Skye Smitson! Joining her was Rhio and Millie McKenzie. Yet another titanic battle between the four women in the hottest women's division in the whole of Europe right now ended with the third member of the Lana Austin Experience, LA Taylor, getting involved once again. This led to a rather self-centred Lana pinning her ostensible Experience partner to take the win. Smitson was not amused at this minor betrayal but swallows her pride to share in Lana’s second defence of her title.
Gene Munny who made his return at Unboxing V: Deal Or No Deal?, was filling in for Simon Miller on announcing duties in the second half of the show, announced to the crowd that on 7th March 2023 he was fulfilling a life long ambition to run his own show and that in partnership with PROGRESS, he will launch "Gene Munny's Daft Lad's Emporium" at The Dome Tufnell Park! (Tickets on sale some point between now and soon - Gene asked us to say that).
Tate Mayfairs following his loss in the NPS 8 final against Ricky Knight Jr. decided to take his ire out on PROGRESS host and announcer Simon Miller. Miller, who usually remains completely calm, finally snapped at Mayfairs and the two had to be pulled apart at Chapter 146: They Think It's All Over... Tate may have thought that was that. However his worst nightmare became a reality at Unboxing V: Deal or No Deal? While a spectacular video played on the screen at the Electric Ballroom to reveal who his opponent would be, Simon Miller, who had been dressed as an elf (in keeping with the Christmas theme) had taken off his costume behind him to reveal he was dressed in his wrestling attire beneath the costume. As the crowd erupted for the match they most wanted to see, the battle commenced. With Miller in the ascendancy, Tate once again stole his win with a sneaky roll up after avoiding Miller's spear and getting the 3 count!
Seemingly finished there, Tate, taunting Simon Miller all the way back to the stage, very pleased with himself, had his smile wiped off his face as a returning Warren Banks forced him back into the ring. After claiming he 'Had no beef' with him, he exchanged words with Banks, which the Nigerian Kaiju didn't take too kindly too and whipped Tate into a Simon Miller Spear! With the Nigerian Kaiju back in PROGRESS, what could this mean for Tate Mayfairs and the rest of the PROGRESS roster as we head into 2023?
The ongoing feud between Nina Samuels and Alexxis Falcon shows no signs of slowing down, with Samuels claiming that Alexxis had managed to lock herself in the changing rooms backstage and that she would take her place in the match. Lizzy Evo made her return to the Electric Ballroom to face off against Nina, but before the match could start Falcon rushed to the ring escaping her imprisonment and creating a triple threat against Evo and Samuels. With Samuels and Falcon tearing strips off each other, Evo took her chance and scored a win, making her return to PROGRESS in Dubai last month and now another win at Unboxing V: Deal or No Deal, a very successful end to her 2022.
Alexxis grabbed the mic after the match and declared that she was actually glad that Nina had told the world about her love for everything Disney. That she could now drop the pretence of being a rock chick and now be her true self. She then proceeded to extend her hand for Nina to shake. Unfortunately for Alexxis, Nina took the opportunity and delivered a post match beat down before placing her head in a chair and jumping off the ropes to crush Alexxis's larynx. With the paramedics rushing to ringside, Nina decided to hold an impromptu Nina Samuels TV interview. With Alexxis unable to speak, it was a one sided interview and an embarrassment for the fallen Falcon.
Maggot answered the call of Charles Crowley and he and the crowd were witness to the glorious appearing of the reborn 'Trickster God' who complete with new attire and entrance wowed the crowd before laying waste to the Son of Nothing and avenging his loss to the German superstar. Crowley then put the crowd and the PROGRESS roster on notice that he is now on another level and that no one can stop him now. That remains to be seen, but for now the Trickster God is preparing for a very big 2023 in PROGRESS.
Finally the opening match of Unboxing V: Deal or No Deal? saw the entire CPF taking on Luke Jacobs, Dan Moloney, Man Like Del Boy (Complete with Only Fools and Horses theme tune) and a debuting Mad Kurt in a match filled with high flying, hard hitting action and absolute chaos. At one point in the match when all eight competitors were laid out we went to an unexpected ad break, complete with Man Like Del Boy selling all his latest (Non knockoff) merch... The craziness continued until Callum Newman got the pin over Kurt for the 1..2...3.
Unboxing V: Deal Or No Deal? was a fantastic finish to PROGRESS’s first year under its now well-established new management and 2023 looks set to be a very exciting year for the promotion and its fans!